The Relationship Dance

spaghetti arms.jpeg

“Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.”—Johnny

You’ve probably seen the movie Dirty Dancing, and you’ve definitely heard the phrase “don’t step on their toes.” Both offer a taste of how the relationship dance can reveal patterns, body stories, boundary issues, projections and underlying meaning that need attention and care. Being in an intimate relationship can be an enormous yet incredibly satisfying endeavor. And, due to the way we were born into life seeking connection and satisfaction in our first relationship with our caregiver, fulfilling today’s quest to have emotional intimacy, physical proximity and touch, and overall trust with our partner can be a tall order to match.

While talk therapy is highly helpful to unpack issues and help be proactive about tendencies or soothing fears, using a body-based approach in couples counseling can offer:

  • insight about concerns or problems that present in nonverbal ways and support with new perspective in how to manage and connect with that energy

  • productive, take-home tools to help you come home to your body and your relationship in a mindfully embodied way

What does a body-based approach actually look like in session? Like the photo of Johnny and Baby in the “Spaghetti Arms” scene above, there are some basic postures, movements and patterns we can explore to understand relational tendencies, roadblocks and openings. These might be things you’ve never considered or paid much attention to in the past, but along with talking about concerns or vulnerabilities, we can set the scene for new discoveries and relationship potential through movement patterns and sometimes difficult but very possible and necessary conversations.

If you’re curious about how this might work for you and your partner, feel free to contact me for 15-minute phone chat, and we can explore possibilities.