Meditative Practices without Relational Support: the Possibility of Disembodying

Written By Caroline Gebhardt

Pretzel Poses, People Pleasing and Shape-shifting

Thanks to yoga—which has stretched its way into the West in the 20th century—our culture has lapped up various meditative arts that show up everywhere from cognitive-based therapeutic approaches, to ecstatic dance, to maybe my favorite—mindful tea bag tags. 🍵

Years ago, when yoga studios began popping up on every corner, I craved the urge to play with yoga shapes, to explore pretzel poses with my naturally bendy body. However, I felt great resistance to opening my heart in the ways my teachers suggested—ways that seemed to encourage losing myself. I felt like I couldn’t fully be myself in my yoga community.

I was already a “good girl,” a classic people-pleaser who didn’t need to shape-shift toward any more teacher expectations. Like a raw nerve, I needed to develop more energetic skin rather than less. I needed to stay in my body rather than transcend it.

Wrestling, Pushing and Reaching for Support

I realize now that my early personal experience with yoga is not an uncommon phenomenon. I realize that my yoga experience stirred up old trauma patterning related to feeling exposed and performative, and I felt a little cranky about it.

When I began exploring my yoga practices and other mindful movement from a relational lens, from a more inside-out approach using body-based inquiries as developmental redos, I discovered practices that fed me. I began to notice that wrestling with the “should” messages, pushing away anything a teacher suggested that didn’t fit for me, and reaching for what felt more satisfying deepened my individuation journey, my yogic path.

While seated meditation might work for some, and while endless dancing might work for some, and while ceremonial beverages might work for some, they don’t work for all people, especially when they lack relational support. When we do practices seeking presence, deep urges for support get stirred. If we transcend the need for support, we are likely to disembody.

In other words, if you feel foggy, dreamy, peaceful because you have lost parts of yourself, that might be your system’s way of saying:

“I feel overwhelmed. I need more relational support.”

You might wonder,

“How do I invite relational support into my meditative practice?”

Based on trauma-informed practices like Trauma-Sensitive Yoga, we know that inviting presence is a key concept. But, presence causes feelings, and sometimes those feelings can feel like too much too fast if we do not have Support.

Presence + Support = Mindfulness

Ideally, when we explore becoming more present, we have a Support person we can wrestle with, push into and reach for so our nervous system doesn’t have to work so hard to play.

M-Bodied: Mindful Movement as Mothering Medicine®—has the word mindfulness in it. That MMMMM alliteration suggests the Support we need when we seek presence, in order to develop Mindfulness.

M-Bodied: Mindful Movement as Mothering Medicine, uses Chi for Two co-regulation practices to:

The Mothering Medicine that makes space for Play…and Dance!

When “Mother” is referenced here, we are inviting the “mothering quality of oxytocin,” which plays a major role in signaling safety within our Social Engagement system functioning as related to nervous system science. Therefore, all people may offer and embody that “Mother” quality—those who identify as female, male, or non-binary.

To learn more about how M-Bodied Therapy or M-Bodied Coaching might be appropriate for you or your family, feel free to reach out for a 15-min phone consultation at the button below.

Caroline Gebhardt
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